ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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