i may or may not be watching the land before time
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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