if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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