I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize