I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
