You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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