I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
