WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!