last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.