capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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