"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
sex in a hospital.. check
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Randomize
