im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
