some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
