i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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