Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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