Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
