OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
