I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
