3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
