thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
