Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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