He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
