There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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