oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Randomize
