the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
