Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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