I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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