yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
