no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
