thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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