he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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