Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
