but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
