There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
