I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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