Dual....:-)
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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