I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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