I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
