Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
