your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
So squirting runs in the family.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize