i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
