found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
