Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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