just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
