Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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