Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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