so that wasnt chicken after all
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
