dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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