Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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