Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
