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dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
