it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
