i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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