youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize