1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
how can u be prego again
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The adults are the big ones right?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
