Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
