There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
