piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
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