margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
